After having disassembled your wardrobe in search of wearable clothes, you put on your nicest athletic suit and wander over to the Arctic VPN™ arena to meet up with dAnkan before the ceremony begins. You wait backstage, counting down the seconds until you really need to step out, until dAnkan waddles in at the last possible moment.
“Wooh! We are the winners! We, hick-up, won over them aaAAaaAllLLllL!!!” dAnkan rambles incoherently, swaying from side to side with an empty bottle of eggnot under a wing.
“Oh for Santa’s sake… You should have taken a little input at a time!” you mutter to yourself as you take some ice cubes out of a nearby soda machine. Sneaking behind dAnkan, you carefully put the ice into their scarf.
“OH QUACK!” exclaims dAnkan as they suddenly wake up out of their stupor. “You be careful now, you hear? Just because you did a good job with the competition doesn’t mean I’m not ready to treat you to all the commands inherent to a good bashing!”
Ignoring dAnkan’s threats, you herd them out onto the field. You see all the teams lined up in front of a huge podium, one level for each team. Taking your place right above the Norwegians, you see dAnkan pull faces into the stoic face of Bjern. However, you realize something terrible. Though you barely placed over the Norwegians, the Norwegians somehow ended up dead last. Up at the top you see the Polish contestant Borzysław Winnerofski gratefully accept his gold medal. You wish quietly that someone had scripted you better; maybe you should have given that a shot?
“Høw fårtunæte før us tø meet, dÆnkan,” you hear the well-oiled voice of Skid-Åke whisper behind you. “But I’m æfraid it will be øur læst encøunter. I hæve rigged a bømb, dÆnkan, ænd when it explødes Sæntæ will gain sø much debt that he will hæve to sell øff his preciøus Nordpøl and we, the mighty Nørrbaggar, can expænd øur territøry!”
“Can I take a peek at the control device you got there?” asks dAnkan innocently.
“But øf cøurse!” replies Skid-Åke with Norwegian hospitality and passes the device to dAnkan who swiftly passes it along to you, as they whisper “Inject whatever you need to get the secret out.” Time for you to put your skills to the test and save Christmas, one final time.