Despite dAnkan making you pay for lunch, the affordable nature of the IKEA menu combined with dAnkan’s membership did not seriously impact your budget. Sitting by a window, you patiently listen to dAnkan speaking around some mashed potatoes.
“So, there are more candidates this year than we are used to. Santa and Gävlebocken are of course running, and they are joined by a few North Pole celebrities. You already know about Rudolf the Traitor, but the tech-entrepreneur Frostbyte the Snowman (son of Frosty the Snowman) is also in the running. Now, I’ve been in this business for a while, but I have never heard of a more anti-Christmas candidate. His favourite season is summer! Where is the North Pole going?” dAnkan asks solemnly before shoveling some more mashed potatoes into their beak.
You almost manage to say something, but dAnkan swiftly cuts you off.
“And don’t get me started on the other two! They are not even from here! The pirate – what’s her name? – Captain Ada Seafoss of Antarctica, she’s a penguin! And she want’s to open-source Christmas, to let anyone deliver presents, can you imagine!?” shouts dAnkan while waving a fork back and forth.
“What about the last one?” you ask carefully.
“Huh?” asks dAnkan with their beak full before swallowing. “Oh yeah, the robot. Some pro-democracy candidate focusing on fair elections, doubt they will be a problem. Our elections are already fair!” says dAnkan while continuing to wave violently with a fork.
You sit quietly for a moment, looking at dAnkan who’s wiping some Lingonsylt of their feathers, leaving an orange smear.
After a few seconds of looking at dAnkan failing to wipe anything off, dAnkan lets out a big sigh and ruffles around a big pile of unopened letters, leaving more orange stains here and there, and picks up a crumpled piece of paper and hands it to you.
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⬅️⬅️⬅️➡️➡️➡️⬅️
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➡️⬅️➡️➡️➡️➡️⬅️➡️⬅️➡️➡️⬅️➡️⬅️⬅️➡️➡️⬅️➡️⬅️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️⬅️⬅️
“The first debate is later tonight. But if you’re looking for something to do you could take a look at this fanmail some huffing-man delivered earlier today. I could not decode it, and I don’t let Santa hold any mail directly. You have no idea what type of trees people lace things with these days,” dAnkan says just as you’ve picked up the letter.
“Anywho, I’m going to waddle around and see if I can find any Eggnot or something while you do that!”