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It’s finally the first week of the competition. Or, you don’t know if finally is a good way to describe it since it was only a short while ago you learned of its existence as well as your participation. It can be silly sometimes, life is a difficult stage as they say.
You look up towards the giant slope with its adjacent ramp that stands just before you, there is something about the scale of it all that makes it feel absurd. Just as you are about to enter some sort of trance from the grandness of it all, dAnkan appears beside you.
“We have a problem” they say with a gruff voice.
“What is it this time?” You respond while trying, but not too hard, to not sound tired of all of these problems that seem to materialize out of thin air.
“Something is up with those pesky Norwegians, I can feel it in my feathers, just look at this press statement.” dAnkan hands you a picture showing the Norwegian team.
As you examine your Norwegian opponents you understand why dAnkan seems to suspect something. The picture shows the Norwegian troupe consisting of nine men in their best… You stop your analysis for a second, and when you look more closely you realise that for every man their feet seem to be growing. The last guy’s got enormous feet, that can’t be normal.
“Pictured: The Norwegian team, Bjørn, Bjarn, Bjorn, Bjurn, Bjærn, Bjårn, Bjern, Bjyrn and Bjirn” the text under the picture read.
“As you can see this is what your competition looks like.”
“My competition? You are the one with wings, is it not more logical that you do this one?” you answer back as you once more stare up at the slope which now looks even grander.
“I have a fear of flying, so you’ll have to jump yourself.” dAnkan says and hurriedly moves the conversation along. “The Norwegian team also released this propaganda piece, and I know that there is something fishy about it.”
“Hmm, what type of file is this?” you ask as you move to open the document.
“Don’t read it!” dAnkan interjects. “It will infect you with Norwegian melancholy and a desire for oil. We have to find out what the Norwegians think about this text, but we can’t open it as we can with other documents; we need to figure out another way and that is quick! If you accidentally open it, I have copies and mind-wiping eggnot at the ready. If only they had left a comment, but their coach has been eerily quiet.”